| Author | Topic: I Know This Bitch Took A Creative Writing Class |
Total Posts: 1399
Member Since: 2008
Location: did u know that observe has four additional teeth that can only be seen during summer solstice? |  posted Friday, June 22, 2012 1:20:17 PM 
I was browsing craigslist for a beater car when this title caught my eye.
ANGRY SOCCER MOM UNLOADING OLDSMOBILE SILLOUTTE - $3400
Are you looking for a vehicle to haul 7 screaming demon spawns to soccer practice? If so, then I am so so sorry. You have my sympathy. And for the low low price of $3400, you can have my van too.
I'm selling this car because it is too dependable. I'm looking for something that has a higher chance of the brakes going out on the highway, causing me to die in a fiery blaze of glory like I so badly want to so that my family can collect the insurance money and I can finally SLEEP!
I've driven this van for 145,000 soul-crushing miles (only 27,000 soul-crushing miles on the new transmission). It's been to Canada twice (why anyone would ever go to Canada ONCE let alone TWICE is a mystery that still haunts me to this day), New York, Tennessee, Texas, Oklahoma - it's been all over the damn place. It's seen just about every rest stop in the USA because these little pea-blattered bastards have to pee ever 5 seconds.
The service engine light has been on for 2 years but I don't give a shit and neither should you because it's just a gas cap/emissions warning. We've all go to do our part if we want to speed up global warming and bring about the Armageddon!
The rear seat folds down, in case you need to transport something large and heavy rolled up in a rug. I'm pretty sure the AC works but I can't tell because I am in HELL whenever I'm driving this thing.
This van has been very well maintained and I have always used synthetic oil in the engine, because I used to be young and optimistic about life and longevity.
3.4 Liter V6 engine, Automatic, FWD, ABS, Power windows/locks/seats, cruise control, VCR, AM/FM radio, CD player, Privacy glass, Towing hitch and roof back.
KBB value is $4200. Save your low-ball offers for Pawn Stars.
Partial IP: 32.3.33.68 |
Total Posts: 725
Member Since: 2007
Location: Be grateful it was your mouth | posted Friday, June 22, 2012 1:23:02 PM
she misspelled everyPartial IP: 08.134.190 |
Total Posts: 1399
Member Since: 2008
Location: did u know that observe has four additional teeth that can only be seen during summer solstice? | posted Friday, June 22, 2012 1:25:40 PM
What a slut... she didnt even post a phone number. She's most likly a Nigerian.Partial IP: 32.3.33.68 |
Total Posts: 1399
Member Since: 2008
Location: did u know that observe has four additional teeth that can only be seen during summer solstice? | posted Friday, June 22, 2012 1:36:28 PM
Nu uh yo. I've had an iced americano thats it broham.Partial IP: 32.3.33.68 |
Total Posts: 7193
Member Since: 2012
Location: ratchet ass hoe dont play with me | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 5:35:08 PM
lol linxPartial IP: 05.134.215 |
Total Posts: 9248
Member Since: 2009
Location: "rich and i talk on teh phone you dumb fgt" - Tehgr8fgt | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 6:00:06 PM
gayopp, you're a irl faggotPartial IP: 53.112.183 |
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