| Author | Topic: Part Of A Verse To Somethin. |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! |  posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 1:23:56 PM 
kinda stuck, need 32 bars bout lil more than halfway done.
can't escape loves polar opposite, caught up and lost in it
held hostage since as children when we was taught to sin
its got a grip on us all talons pierce through the skin
some just can't let go of it and hold on to it to the end
a friend to rage and envy, a cousin to revenge,
war and death helps manifests itself into the flesh
evil men nurture it to further it, whispers of a serpents hiss
at the point of no return, cuz you can't cross a burning bridge
it aint a joke, some'll laugh and show their ignorance
or they just no longer give a shit and so give in to it
try to shoulder it, it becomes a burden till ya cursin it
so immersed in it, that it becomes part of they person
it, will scar your very soul, and even leave it twisted
still nobody listens, until it raise its ugly visage
and friends become enemies in an instant
life long friendships, come crumblin down within minutes
a phantom menance, frolickin and dancin in the tempest
found in the mouth of madness, anchored to the epicenter
Partial IP: 131.92.107 |
Total Posts: 2154
Member Since: 2011
Location: Wigger Slam Champ | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 1:35:27 PM 
found in the mouth of madness, anchored to the epicenter,
left of center
bet my dinner
left a sinner
best delivered
quell the inner
devils dinner
revel in her
devil in her
accept with sin here
delivering her
hectic enter
bet this splinter
adept beginner
Partial IP: .168.42.29 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 1:50:17 PM
chuckle. good looks. whatcha think so farPartial IP: 131.92.107 |
Total Posts: 813
Member Since: 2012
Location: rancho cucamonga | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 2:09:33 PM
crim i like the writtens but i feel like if you just put a bit more effort into cleaning them up for audio form they could b so much better...
im lazy too...but i see a lot of potential in your scripts then the audios dont do them justice and im guilty of the same shit...more practice...
good shit tho i didnt mean for this to come off condescending or negative i jus know that u could do better in general
Partial IP: .45.210.12 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 2:19:35 PM
good looks doug, all good, i feel you. always room for improvement. thats why i'm here postin. i gotta problem sometimes of not writin to a beat too then tryna fit the verse to a beat i like but doesn't always work. that and the laziness/cheefin. good looks though. k.i.m.Partial IP: 131.92.107 |
Total Posts: 2154
Member Since: 2011
Location: Wigger Slam Champ | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 2:57:35 PM
in here
some just can't let go of it and hold on to it to the end
a friend to rage and envy, a cousin to revenge,
war and death helps manifests itself into the flesh
the word ravage comes to mind.
some stretches during the dopest part'll have to nail.
i like this.
i think this is general enough of a theme as well.
h8te notes
Partial IP: .168.42.29 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 3:56:55 PM
like so?
a friend to ravage, rage and envy, a cousin to revenge,
doable/spittable
lil mo
can't escape loves polar opposite, caught up and lost in it
held hostage since as children when we was taught to sin
its got a grip on us all talons pierce through the skin
some just can't let go of it and hold on to it to the end
a friend to ravage, rage and envy, a cousin to revenge,
war and death helps manifests itself into the flesh
evil men nurture it to further it, whispers of a serpents hiss
at the point of no return, cuz you can't cross a burning bridge
it aint a joke, some'll laugh and show their ignorance
or they just no longer give a shit and so give in to it
try to shoulder it, it becomes a burden till ya cursin it
so immersed in it, that it becomes part of they person
it, will scar your very soul, and even leave it twisted
still nobody listens, until it raise its ugly visage
and friends become enemies in an instant
life long friendships, come crumblin down within minutes
a phantom menance, frolickin and dancin in the tempest
found in the mouth of madness, anchored to the epicenter
charred remains and ash, tryna make a desperate exit
burnin inferno, left unattended, nothin left but cinders
gave life to genocide, many men have died from its sickness
so bare witness, turn on the televison, yet another victim
we all familiar with it, but blame it on the world we live in
we all know about it, but still dont know how to make a difference
Partial IP: 131.92.107 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 5:49:49 PM
fuckin a 2 bars to go stuck again
can't escape loves polar opposite, caught up and lost in it
held hostage since as children when we was taught to sin
its got a grip on us all talons pierce through the skin
some just can't let go of it and hold on to it to the end
a friend to ravage, rage, and envy, a cousin to revenge,
war and death helps manifests itself into the flesh
evil men nurture it to further it, whispers of a serpents hiss
at the point of no return, cuz you can't cross a burning bridge
it aint a joke, some'll laugh and show their ignorance
or they just no longer give a shit and so give in to it
try to shoulder it, it becomes a burden till ya cursin it
so immersed in it, that it becomes part of they person
it, will scar your very soul, and even leave it twisted
still nobody listens, until it raise its ugly visage
and friends become enemies in an instant
life long friendships, come crumblin down within minutes
a phantom menance, frolickin and dancin in the tempest
found in the mouth of madness, anchored to the epicenter
charred remains and ash, tryna make a desperate exit
burnin inferno, left unattended, nothin left but cinders
gave life to genocide, many men have died from its sickness
so bare witness, turn on the televison, yet another victim
we all familiar with it, but blame it on the world we live in
we all know about it, but still dont know how to make a difference
its human nature to destroy whats strange and different
its been that way found on the pages of ancient scripture
even glass stained windows in old churches paint a picture
drove alot of men insane when it became a fixture
can't ignore the stakes, is high, love can't afford to wait
its why some wars are waged, always caught up in the mixturePartial IP: 131.92.107 |
Total Posts: 1467
Member Since: 2010 | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 7:21:34 PM
Maybe
"caught up in the mixture of despair andhate"...?Partial IP: 250.58.176 |
Total Posts: 1467
Member Since: 2010 | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 7:22:29 PM
Where terrorists fight terror in a terrible placePartial IP: 250.58.176 |
Total Posts: 1467
Member Since: 2010 | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 7:27:47 PM
Oh and I'm digging it too... Especially the lines around the snake hiss onePartial IP: 250.58.176 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 7:34:14 PM
good stuff kief. tracks about hate but tryin not to actually say hate in the verse. also bruh when you get that mic should do a coupla these drops. helps perfect the craft. good looks. k.i.m.Partial IP: 117.246.86 |
Total Posts: 1467
Member Since: 2010 | posted Saturday, June 23, 2012 7:35:41 PM
Definitely man.. I actually have it already, I'm just waiting on my xlr chord to come inPartial IP: 250.58.176 |
Total Posts: 10203
Member Since: 2001
Location: soundcloud dot com/redrayn | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 3:07:01 AM
sometimes i come across an old verse that will fit to a beat, but some lines seem like there's too many syllables... thing is, it's all tempo and how you pace yourself. i'm here to develop my rhythm and how to follow a melody, which is why many of my flows have that dot ta dot ta dot ta feel which i'm finally seeing now. the exception is my Sound Asleep track where I was drunk when i recorded it, it was more melodic cuz i wasn't entrapping myself in a dot dot dot flow... if that makes sense... i think i'm rambling...
Sab you definatly got dope melody with your flows, just sometimes i think you cram too many syllables at timesPartial IP: .60.154.48 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 10:22:14 AM
good looks lio. rayn, i do tend to do that sometimes. sometimes i could work it flow wise to make it fit just takes spittin the verse over and over. i gets what ya sayin though. this rhyme in particular is over a pretty slow beat so it works but i do have a little trouble gettin out the serpents hiss burning bridge part. good looks. k.i.m.Partial IP: .131.72.47 |
Total Posts: 457
Member Since: 2011
Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot | posted Thursday, June 28, 2012 7:50:54 AM
can't escape loves polar opposite, caught up and lost in it
held hostage since as children when we was taught to sin
its got a grip on us all talons pierce through the skin
some just can't let go of it and hold on to it to the end
a friend to ravage, rage, and envy, a cousin to revenge,
war and death helps manifests itself into the flesh
evil men nurture it to further it, whispers of a serpents hiss
at the point of no return, cuz you can't cross a burning bridge
it aint a joke, some'll laugh and show their ignorance
or they just no longer give a shit and so give in to it
try to shoulder it, it becomes a burden till ya cursin it
so immersed in it, that it becomes part of they person
it, will scar your very soul, and even leave it twisted
still nobody listens, until it raise its ugly visage
and friends become enemies in an instant
life long friendships, come crumblin down within minutes
a phantom menance, frolickin and dancin in the tempest
found in the mouth of madness, anchored to the epicenter
charred remains and ash, tryna make a desperate exit
burnin inferno, left unattended, nothin left but cinders
gave life to genocide, many men have died from its sickness
so bare witness, turn on the televison, yet another victim
we all familiar with it, but blame it on the world we live in
we all know about it, but still dont know how to make a difference
its human nature to destroy whats strange and different
its been that way found on the pages of ancient scripture
even glass stained windows in old churches paint a picture
drove alot of men insane when it became a fixture
can't ignore the stakes, is high, love can't afford to wait
its why some wars are waged, always caught up in the mixture
known to show its face whenever the pressure gets ya
tryna avoid and escape its ways takes one hell of an effortPartial IP: .139.67.70 |
Total Posts: 2154
Member Since: 2011
Location: Wigger Slam Champ | posted Friday, June 29, 2012 9:31:16 AM
excellent.
will get started on this today.Partial IP: 73.172.248 |
Total Posts: 457
Member Since: 2011
Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot | posted Friday, June 29, 2012 9:47:17 AM
word. also didja just delete your post or am i still feelin the efx of the high.Partial IP: .139.67.70 |
Total Posts: 12057
Member Since: 2003
Location: I Reek Of Awesomeness | posted Friday, June 29, 2012 10:39:18 AM
I like how you take suggestions and run with them...Partial IP: .88.236.19 |
Total Posts: 2154
Member Since: 2011
Location: Wigger Slam Champ | posted Friday, June 29, 2012 1:02:28 PM
Heh. You were right I had already posted the script. Forgot.
Also unlocked my OG name and juss wanted to post something.
1Partial IP: 73.172.248 |
Total Posts: 2154
Member Since: 2011
Location: Wigger Slam Champ | posted Sunday, July 01, 2012 9:02:33 PM
o dis?Partial IP: 73.172.248 |
Total Posts: 457
Member Since: 2011
Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot | posted Sunday, July 01, 2012 9:04:16 PM
que?Partial IP: .131.73.22 |
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