| Author | Topic: Gotta Live It Up |
Total Posts: 6
Member Since: 2012 |  posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 4:57:32 PM 
i need to make it happen cause everybodys rappin,
gunna be the captain im strong like samson,
music is my passion im gunna by a mansion
no need to worry im gunna make it happen,
aint got no money but i dont really care,
you say its unfair but you know whats unfair,
is when you stop and stare at an empty brick wall cuase you wish you had it all,
well im tired of wishin, my keys are ignition,
and im ready to start my life long mission,
no one sees my vision,
im passin with persicion never missin my mark, cause my bites like a shark,
itll put you back in park, im up after dark,
climbin up the ladder, on my way to the top
screamin like a kettle pot, thats never gunna stop, takin rolls of the dice, lookin at my life, sayin god damn i gotta live it up gotta gotta live it up
nothins eva gunna stop me cause im runnin till my tank is on empty,
so please believe that im gunna achieve,
everything i wanted that appears in my dreams,
i gotta keep writing to prove to everyone
that im not gunna quit, your all full of shit,
i know im not the greatest but im gunna keep it real,
my mind keeps goin its onna ferris wheel,
i gotta keep improvin always movin forward,
never backin down from any fuckin challenge that you wanna bring my way, im on a rampage and im here to fuckin stay,
growin up yeahh im 19 years old and im searchin for my gold, doin it on my own cause im searchin for my thrownPartial IP: .57.19.207 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 5:23:59 PM
aint bad but aint good but like you said you kinda new at this. some of the rhymes was a little basic like the mark, shark, park, dark stuff. lot of filler lines and lines just to rhyme stuff too not really sayin anything. its all good though, it take time, lotsa practice, and patience. stick around peep other folks post drop some feed and get some feed if you in anyway serious bout this though. k.i.m.Partial IP: 7.1.23.193 |
Total Posts: 6
Member Since: 2012 | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 5:31:45 PM
thanks appreciate the feed back! this site is going to help my alot! im workin on my vocab too need a bigger varietyPartial IP: .57.19.207 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 5:35:16 PM
word, stick around.Partial IP: 7.1.23.193 |
Total Posts: 581
Member Since: 2010
Location: new york USA | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 5:44:29 PM
come like this dude
apply myself,try be deft was at this very party and everybody's rapping, like Samson wanna be a strong man but have the wrong plan, music is my passion must use it in a fashion to get rich quick and buy a mansion and it must be a fly attraction and that'll justify my actions and bring satisfaction to my soul for realPartial IP: 254.210.32 |
Total Posts: 6
Member Since: 2012 | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 6:00:27 PM
good looks shaft! i need to open and expand my brain a little bit more....its to simplistic..Partial IP: .57.19.207 |
Total Posts: 1903
Member Since: 2011
Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!! | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 6:18:59 PM
you should peep Octavious Algorithm friday cipher post. lots of illness going on in there. peep coasts and octavius aka cosmic johns stuff if ya wanna build up ya vocab and wordplay. them cats nice widdit
Partial IP: 6.131.72.8 |
Total Posts: 12058
Member Since: 2003
Location: I Reek Of Awesomeness | posted Sunday, June 24, 2012 6:27:24 PM 
don't worry about the simplistic stuff. Listen to some other people, read some stuff on here. Heck I used to be simplistic as hell, but I've done some good stuff. I've been around here off and on since 99. It's just about building. Read, check current events and you'll have subject matter and vocab. Trust...Partial IP: .88.236.19 |
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