Total Posts: 1903 Member Since: 2011 Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!!
posted Monday, June 25, 2012 2:29:15 PM kinda liked it yo. pretty good. adlibs could be turned down and there was two spots where you sped up the delivery to fit the beat and it came out jumbled. besides that cadence was cool and like the old school throwback. maybe need to rewrite those parts or takes some words out. post up the lyrics. k.i.m.
Partial IP: 6.131.73.2
kiefntee
Total Posts: 1462 Member Since: 2010
posted Monday, June 25, 2012 2:38:42 PM never to be wack cus im inlined with facts so if youre sittin up you might wanna sit back as the dj kicks that and the vocals mix match, and jumble when the bass hits dont say i didnt warn itd rumble stumble over the words that you had wrote, while me, im writin reams cus i heard you had choked, somebodys got to rock the spot like this-i-know, fightin for whats right like, this mine yo, dont take it, your mistaken from your very first awakenin, amazin-and in awe of what you had saw of line after line of that raw, i see but never saw, cus this is my song so say so long, to the far gone, cus i do this like rufus with the shakakhan, ive got the bombs, and im bringin em on the track , cus the fat boys (the fat boys) the fat boys are back
yeah forgot about the lyrics, and that shit in the beggining wasnt supposed to be in there haha..
but yeah I had it on my old comp before it crashed
Partial IP: 8.41.90.91
Criminal Mindead
Total Posts: 1903 Member Since: 2011 Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!!
posted Monday, June 25, 2012 2:54:44 PM just my 2 cent but maybe you can say for example
when the bass hits dont say i didnt warn itd rumble
when the bass hits you can feel the earth rumble
less syllables and flow lil smoother, you could even take out the can
also
ive got the bombs, and im bringin em on the track , cus the
strapped with bombs, i'ma drop em on the track, cus the
and you can almost rhyme bomb with drop if ya get my drift. k.i.m.
Partial IP: 6.131.73.2
kiefntee
Total Posts: 1462 Member Since: 2010
posted Monday, June 25, 2012 3:01:27 PM yeah i see what your saying
like i said i wrote this a while ago, but i like the 'and im bringin em on the track', but i know what your saying about the 'dont say i didnt warn itd rumble', i just thought it was sorta ironic that after its 'stumble over the words that you had wrote'
i see what youre saying tho.. good looks as usual crim
Partial IP: 8.41.90.91
Criminal Mindead
Total Posts: 1903 Member Since: 2011 Location: curse my hubris, CURSE IT!!!
posted Monday, June 25, 2012 3:14:07 PM all good. i got bars that are too long sometimes too but you can make it work sometimes. sometimes i'll just repeat the part i'm havin trouble with over and over to the beat and sometmes it'll work/smooth itself out. k.i.m.
posted Monday, June 25, 2012 2:20:43 PM 