| Author | Topic: My Frist Trip- Storytime |
Total Posts: 12053
Member Since: 2003
Location: I Reek Of Awesomeness |  posted Saturday, July 07, 2012 12:07:54 PM  
There was this kid named dave who I met at a rave
he was hi and drunk and asked me for a fave
so I asked what it was, said he needed a ride to his cuz
in the meantime he hit me off with some bud
so we ride out, he's on the phone talking all code
and the more were rode, my good feelings eroded
got my mind in “get ready for the Murphy” mode
“Here we are” door opened “welcome to my humble abode”
stomach was rumbling, asked he he had a little to eat
said he had nothing but brownies and some bread-whole wheat
without any meat, the decision was easy,
washed the brownie down with tea, while they smiled cheesy
Brownie ain't taste quite right, I shoulda figured then
but the bigger the hunger, any food's a win
sweets doubly so, started feeling bubly yo
and my mind started to befuddle me
body stuck in the chair like the last appeal failed
thinking to myself what the hell
Well I should have noticed the blacklights and trippy posters
and the fact of lots of cups with no coasters
but I was just doing a favor, and while this wasn't my flavor
at this point I'm like I'll deal with it later
Well first my body started to feel lighter
then I saw all these tracers from the lighters
faces started morphing, lights got darker
started tingling all over like Peter Parker
walls started breathing rising and falling
when I closed my eyes I could see all things
wanted to hide, but I couldn't move my hide
walls started breathing rising and falling
when I closed my eyes I could see all things
wanted to hide, but I couldn't move my hide
and definitely couldn't bail out to my ride
so I forced myself up and found a corner to chill in
staring at the ceiling it seemed reflect me feelings
imagine knowing everything without explaining
life is more entertaining without the labeling and naming
time stood still, hours passed like seconds on a stopwatch
while my mind played hopscotch, going from topic to topic
when it was all over, all I could say is wow
life is way more than the what when and how
and that was my intro to shrooms
hit me like a boom, and now I can't wait to do em...Partial IP: .88.236.19 |
Total Posts: 477
Member Since: 1999
Location: Greenville, NC | posted Saturday, July 07, 2012 12:24:05 PM
I could see the entire story unfold before my eyes. It actually reminded me of a time that I'd rather not recall in the experimentation of my own youth. Obviously we get older and begin to see less importance in things that don't help us take care of those we've been given charge over but when you're young and don't seem to see anything but yourself, we tend to be down for whatever. Keep growing man and keep asking yourself questions. A lot of the questions that you'll ask yourself will open up doors of honest assessment which will in turn help you write rhymes that are you and not just entertaining. I enjoyed reading you out though. I'm not a critic. Just an old hip hop head that slowed down enough to realize that I wasted a lot of time taking the wrong things too seriously. Peace.
Udon Constantine
"The Peephole's Champion"
I see you and smile 'cause I see myself
Love is LOVE
And selflessPartial IP: 108.131.33 |
Total Posts: 12053
Member Since: 2003
Location: I Reek Of Awesomeness | posted Saturday, July 07, 2012 12:28:48 PM
thanks for the reply. You know I used to crank out stories all the time and I feel I need to get back to some. Diversify my style. I'm getting to be a little older so I am trying more than just rhyming. I've read a lot of your stuff over the years, and I've seen you mature into more than just a writer, but a philosopher and introspective person who tries to be honest in your observations
PEACE...Partial IP: .88.236.19 |
Total Posts: 12053
Member Since: 2003
Location: I Reek Of Awesomeness | posted Saturday, July 07, 2012 12:30:23 PM
and thanks for the peep. I think that I'm challenging people to think of late, and by the replies and views it seems like a lot just don't want to.Partial IP: .88.236.19 |
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