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Looking For Some Feedback To My Lyrics
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AuthorTopic:  Looking For Some Feedback To My Lyrics
joshnwmn

Total Posts: 12
Member Since: 2017
posted Sunday, September 10, 2017 3:59:27 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for joshnwmn   Click Here to Email joshnwmn
This is a full song I have written. Iíll post the beat so you guys can get a feel for what kind of style I have. Itís an Instrumental with hook.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4ITie21khWs



Ever snort so many pills that your nose gets bloody?
Tell your friends you got a cold thats why your nose looks runny?
And then you Pop a couple more so that buzz keeps coming?
And how nothing keeps you satisfied and how you feel your hands are tied
But when they ask you say you're fine
Cuz if you tell them what's inside you run the risk of breaking ties when all you wanted was a guy to lend an ear so they could hear your deepest fears and see the tears that keep you fucking stuck in here?
Ducking fucking bullets finger stuck on the trigger lingered touch fucking pull it
All the bullshit I go through, all the stupid shit I do, could be solved with an open wound, as soon as I feel the pain, I know what I have to lose
So give me the brutal truth, just let me relive my youth, relearn what I thought I knew, and yearn to be made brand new
With each and every step I take and every night I lie awake I'll strive to reach that place where I can finally rest and not be chased my past is exactly that so fucking get off my back yeah there's things I lack but

Wakin up, cold sweat, feel your heart through your chest, short breaths, check that bag and take what's left,
what next, it's nothing less than steady steps to that sink, pour a drink, get that text, you need some more? What do you think, of course!
While you sit there near the door, while you're puking up on that floor, while you're hurting down in your core, while your body is feeling sore
I know what it's like to be hopeless, but just focus on what true hope is,
drugs are locusts, dope is pure psychosis, it'll leave you soulless, no solice, leave you homeless, and broke with a diagnosis
pills are thistles and bristled thorns
Their initial form, a warm official warning before the storm,
A forewarned warming hurt
I'm lurching forward mourning
storming curt mind with no storage
A horrid darkness lurks morbid thoughts emerge and there's a
shortage of knowledge in this distorted current market's sorted department
disheartened sordid heart is departed left hardened
ardent for a flame to spark like an an arsonist making a mark starting that flame to erase all this pain so I have something to gain

This music is therapeutic I take my pain and use it
With feelings of disdain man I sat here and I grew sick
They were drilled in my brain and still the fucking screws sit, but im over this so screw it, I'm finally gonna move shit, loosen the loose ends before I fucking lose it, bruising demons beat em leavem bleeding bruised Purple and blue, shit, strewn across the room,
perusing pieces all I see is needless things that left me sleepless always speechless and
now all I need is perfect peace the kind the preachers teach and say come from Jesus but its really hard to see this they say he's a seamless genius that new me as a fetus my DNA sequence all my deepest secrets see I want to believe this but my greatest fucking weakness is I'm not an idealist while he's all the way past Venus and not on earth to lead us and I read these people's thesis that he will come back to greet us? I dont mean he's not real but im struggling with my faith just remember I'm

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Maymon Fresh

Total Posts: 1027
Member Since: 2008
Location: Can you be perfect
posted Monday, September 18, 2017 4:22:11 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Maymon Fresh   Click Here to Email Maymon Fresh
Really sad lyrically sound.. Hope writing is therapy for you

Partial IP: 62.144.146

joshnwmn

Total Posts: 12
Member Since: 2017
posted Tuesday, September 19, 2017 12:33:33 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for joshnwmn   Click Here to Email joshnwmn
Definitely man, writing is where I put all my emotion. Music means the world to me dude and I appreciate the feedback.

Partial IP: 62.144.146

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