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New Lyrics... Brutally Honest Feedback Greatly Appreciated
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AuthorTopic:  New Lyrics... Brutally Honest Feedback Greatly Appreciated

Total Posts: 13
Member Since: 2017
posted Wednesday, September 13, 2017 1:47:55 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for joshnwmn   Click Here to Email joshnwmn
I got a bone to pick
With the rappers out there ain't worth two shits, as they rub their dicks over accomplishments, cuz they sold some hits and never fail to miss
But with the target so low, no wonder shit!
Abandon ship
Put all of your albums in the bargain bin when I stroke my pen, no argument,
I woke set to win, so you can count from ten
just give me a beat, shit give me a drink, so I can slur my speech
give me all the drugs straight in your reach so I can barely speak
I'll leawn into the mic and I'll barely squeak
Ill make sure the same words stay on repeat
if I do all that will I sound pretty "fleek"?
Will I Make a couple million so I can say that I'm killin it, even though I have no passion and i live for the fashion and the low IQ that I can go cash in on?
I don't speak Klingon and these kids they cling on every word you say
but the problem is, you dont say shit:
That you came from the bottom and you be coppin oxcontin that you flip for the profit then these kids see you mobbin Percocet Percocet, put it all to rest
at least for the kids that have ended up dead
do you have half a head? you talk about getting it
we get it your a big shot
thots with their tops off
got the room hotboxed, damn

Can you say some different?
You rap what you're living,
but I've heard the same thing for 40 fucking minutes

I've come to make a difference in this game it's my mission
put the fame In remission
I don't care if you listen
I don't care if you like it
imma go despite it, whew

The game won't be smoothly touched but absolutely crushed
lights cut like it's dusk
with us juxtaposed you must just adjust to the thought of being dust pushed aside to the brush
there's nothing to discuss cuz the beats are a plus but adjunct to the talent
you fucking got some luck plus a couple fucking bucks
well I got fingers up cuz I do give a fuck, listen to these lyrics and really fucking hear them
cuz if you don't wanna imma shove em in your ear then

Partial IP: 62.144.146


Total Posts: 2354
Member Since: 2003
Location: Vancouver island.... Courtenay
posted Wednesday, September 13, 2017 10:30:02 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Chronowana   Click Here to Email Chronowana
imo rap in general is about how you present your self on the mic, i cant give much brutally honest feedback to words written here, from what i can see, seems like you know how to rhyme well enough and flow nicely ,with original transitions, id like to see how u execute this, keepitup

Partial IP: 62.144.146

Maymon Fresh

Total Posts: 1040
Member Since: 2008
Location: Can you be perfect
posted Monday, September 18, 2017 4:19:29 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Maymon Fresh   Click Here to Email Maymon Fresh
Diss them with being judgemental.. Show why lyrics are so important

Partial IP: 62.144.146


Total Posts: 13
Member Since: 2017
posted Tuesday, September 19, 2017 12:43:40 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for joshnwmn   Click Here to Email joshnwmn
at Chronowana: I completely agree. Iím hoping to post a recorded version in the other chat fairly soon, however Iím still trying to get the song mixed and donít want to put anything out there unless I feel itís up to standard. I appreciate the feedback!

at Maymon: i wasnít exactly sure if what you said was a compliment, or if you were trying to say I shouldnít be judgemental. I see how it can come across that way, but Iím not trying to ďjudgeĒ , as much as critique what hip-hop has become in terms of content. Alot of music nowadays seems to simply glorify everything into excess, and a lot of the rappers out there now do it without any particular skill. I was just trying to bring attention to that (albeit in an exaggerated way). Thanks for the feedback!

Partial IP: 62.144.146

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