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One Day... Alternate Ending!
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AuthorTopic:  One Day... Alternate Ending!
Ionus Z051

Total Posts: 1128
Member Since: 2005
Location: Ya'll Ready?
posted Friday, February 15, 2019 7:35:03 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Ionus Z051   Click Here to Email Ionus Z051
One Day…
I… Was sitting in my room – playing Nintendo…
Heard a shot… a bullet flew through my window…
Dropped my controller… then I reached for my pistol…
Heard a scream… now there’s blood on my pillow…
I see red – followed by tears in my woman’s eyes…
She looks scared & begs me not to go outside…
But right now I’m stuck between anger & pride…
I see 2 victims in the street that had nowhere to hide…
I ask questions – no answers – so I grab my gat…
Snatch a youngin’ “Yo, tell me where the fuck they at!”…
He points north – I go forth… set to retaliate…
Run the light – make a right… then I accelerate…
Sirens blaring – cops rush to the scene of the crime…
But they don’t care about the victims – just the overtime…
No need to question witnesses – cuz everybody’s blind…
Maybe the cops’ll surprise… fuck that – nevermind…
Hit the gas… rushing past all of the onlookers…
The corner boys… the dope fiends, drunks & hookers…
I catch a glimpse of the mustang the kid described…
Jet Black with a Red Stripe along the side…
My bloods boiling but I know I need to keep my cool…
Ready for war but we’re right in front of the middle school…
These little fools don’t know who they’re playing with…
Side by Side at the light – but I ain’t saying shit…
We get a green – I fall back and scope the scene…
The triggerman looks like he might be 17…
Still a minor – but they a made a major league mistake…
Cuz now I know who they are & got their license plate…
I just follow while they hit the blunt & pass the bottle…
Laughing hard & celebrating like they hit the lotto…
Cruising slow until they make an unexpected stop…
They cross lanes & pull up at the wing spot…
I roll through… hit a U... watch from the parking lot…
They tell another Kat about how many Vic’s they shot…
He daps ‘em off and hands them both a wad of cash…
They get their food – quick fast… ready to make a dash…
Back in the whip – they hit the strip by Harbor Place…
I know my Queen is mad as hell - it’s getting late...
But all that I can see is the look upon her face…
The shock and horror – now my heartbeat begins to race…
They leave the club and start walking down a side street…
I come up the other side – that’s when our eyes meet…
The first kid tried to run – but he’s drunk as hell…
He cracked his skull on the curb the moment that he fell…
Triggerman starts jetting off at blinding speed…
I see the fear in his eyes – but it’s time to bleed…
He’s getting tired – sweating bullets down at pier 7…
Praying to god ‘cuz he knows he’s getting near heaven…
Oh well… what the hell… I let him run some more…
I keep gaining – it’s raining… he runs up in a store…
But the clerk is a jerk – threatens to call the cops…
Triggerman pulls his 9 – I hear a couple pops…
The door opens – he stumbles out – his shirt bloody…
The clerk claps him again “Now, take that Buddy!”…
He falls slow as I watch from across the street…
The raindrops washing his blood off of the concrete…
He starts crying for help… but he’s all alone…
An onlooker runs off to use the pay phone…
I walk over and act like I’m there to help…
I bend over & tell the kid “You played yourself!”…
He starts hyperventilating – cuz the end is near…
Than he slowly exhales and sheds a single tear…
I leave the pier… then disappear before the cops can spot me…
While back at home – my woman clutches my lifeless body…

©Zaquir 2019

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Sabotaj

Total Posts: 474
Member Since: 2011
Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot
posted Friday, February 15, 2019 7:59:17 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Sabotaj   Click Here to Email Sabotaj
even more shyamalan than the last. chuckle.

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Ionus Z051

Total Posts: 1128
Member Since: 2005
Location: Ya'll Ready?
posted Friday, February 15, 2019 8:15:00 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Ionus Z051   Click Here to Email Ionus Z051
Wassup Sab... I don't even know why I'm writing again - but yeah, it's like a mix between the Sixth Sense, Ghost and The Crow...

I wish I could make this into a video - set back in like 1986...

Good to hear from you Fam!

Maintain...

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Sabotaj

Total Posts: 474
Member Since: 2011
Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot
posted Friday, February 15, 2019 9:52:16 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Sabotaj   Click Here to Email Sabotaj
aye remember you wrote a book or sumthin awhile back. where can I go to support. would love to read

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Ionus Z051

Total Posts: 1128
Member Since: 2005
Location: Ya'll Ready?
posted Friday, February 15, 2019 10:53:06 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Ionus Z051   Click Here to Email Ionus Z051
Send me your address and I'll send you a copy of the 1st draft... I've actually finished the sequel and currently writing the 3rd installment... I've re-titled the initial release and re-imaging parts of the story.

hit me at:
authorrdgordon( at )gmail.com

Partial IP: 224.194.89

Sabotaj

Total Posts: 474
Member Since: 2011
Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot
posted Friday, February 15, 2019 11:30:13 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for Sabotaj   Click Here to Email Sabotaj
ThatsWhatsUp! Check ya mail.

Partial IP: 224.194.89

rareform dopeness

Total Posts: 318
Member Since: 2018
Location: Philoso Rap Tunes
posted Sunday, February 17, 2019 5:02:05 PM    Click Here to See the Profile for rareform dopeness   Click Here to Email rareform dopeness
Tight work get'n busy. Man you are so fortunate to be able to retrieve you're verses from back in the day.

Since this is the alternate end'n Im commenting here. As a artist I am not a critic. with that said its obvious you've been get'n busy.

Keep up the tight work fight'n the good fight in the land of the live'n. Ya style reminds me of a less dysfunctional time. Peace in.

Partial IP: 224.194.89

\Saga Sphinx/

Total Posts: 3503
Member Since: 2003
Location: London, England
posted Sunday, February 24, 2019 7:17:01 AM    Click Here to See the Profile for \Saga Sphinx/   Click Here to Email \Saga Sphinx/
Loved both endings. This felt like it had more of a punch to it tho. The other had a very John Wick vibe also. Dope ish all around . You're more of a frequent visitor these days, so I'm looking forward to more.

Partial IP: 224.194.89

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