Topic: Y So Serious Snippet...few Bars Want Opinion/advice
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 4:40:04 PM still raw borrowed mic from neighbour its not a great mic so the sound quality sux anything helpful u could add beyond that would be greatly appreciated
this is a lil filfth on'a vherbal beat couple'a swisher sweets n some purple leafs rollin up 4 piece of my mind or a mind of peace confined to streets we still weep for fallen sheep when they dress in wolves clothes...n itsa cruel pose my sluggin percentage is vicious like puljos when i put the dick-beaters on dude's nose receptions colder than that fuckin planet pluto's so kudo's...to all you fuckin putos, who act hard but turn up sweeter than glucose... and shonuff its to thee i toast...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:06:27 PM i need to re-record i dont like the way it sounds
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gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:08:19 PM still havent finished the verse, jus playin around with it and lookin for some criticism...negative prefered
Partial IP: .45.210.12
Sabotaj (Admin)
Total Posts: 457 Member Since: 2011 Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:14:15 PM can't front, shit was cool. quality sound lot better than what i'm workin with. nuthin negative to say bout the track, or flow, gotta good voice, want negativity how bout i just call you an asshole. k.i.m.
Partial IP: 7.1.44.137
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:17:34 PM duly noted thx for listenin
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Sabotaj (Admin)
Total Posts: 457 Member Since: 2011 Location: bumpin some biz doin the mudfoot
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:25:02 PM word
Partial IP: 7.1.44.137
Danny Darko
Total Posts: 1669 Member Since: 2009 Location: in comes Phil Da Agony and his 5'1
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:56:18 PM ok so i had a minute, and this shit is fuckin nice. wished there were more verses on this.
if you are serious about wanting criticism, I can't say anything negative yet but mebbe if i give it some more listens.
lol i just read sabotaj reply now and he basically said the same thing.
Partial IP: 200.185.61
syks
Total Posts: 860 Member Since: 2009 Location: U.K
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:58:53 PM yo doug i like this man,flos tight and you went in pritty hard,was feeling it,you should do more audios,join in on cyphers and shit.
Peace
Partial IP: 6.16.32.35
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 5:59:37 PM just a few bars i wanted to get some feedback before i wrote more...
went and borrowed a mic ima write the rest of that verse and another one and record it later
good looks liotta
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 6:00:27 PM my bad i meant flak...lol
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Danny Darko
Total Posts: 1669 Member Since: 2009 Location: in comes Phil Da Agony and his 5'1
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 6:03:57 PM ok paid more attention this time and caught the flip on piece of mind, likin that + the way you rhymed cruel pose and pujols sounded nice.
funny i was just thinking to myself earlier about a friend of mine that is like a wolf in sheeps clothes.
to the negative: "who act hard but turn up",,"sweeter than glucose..." it seemed like the pause in the middle was weird in this line at first but now it sounds fine to me. finish this shit for sure.
Partial IP: 200.185.61
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 6:07:29 PM thx syks and flak again for combing it...
the first bar im gonna make a lil cleaner by adding a syllable...
good cookin ya'll
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 9:36:57 PM yes u r right liotta...keep in mind this is like my 10th time recording anything...but my delivery, cadence, flow, everything needs work thats only gonna come with practice...
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-G-
Total Posts: 388 Member Since: 2011 Location: New Jersey, USA
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 11:40:10 PM Nice flow, nice beat, anno domini is the shit. Overall I was feeling it. The quality could be better but it's not terrible. Good stuff.
Partial IP: 9.248.1.50
coastEL
Total Posts: 2154 Member Since: 2011 Location: Wigger Slam Champ
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:34:30 AM dug i think you need to shine on more unique beats. not even saying anything specific here.
imo these types of beats end up lumping you/us into some other shit that isnt really that accurate of a depiction on your steez.
your flow and scheme should allow you to be more critical of your beat selection.
not that domini cant make beats, he just makes these beats a LOT. thats my 2.
i think the flow is fresh, and i know you can write, but i think you'd do better with some very critical beat selection.
thats coming from a beat weirdo tho.
and1
Partial IP: .168.42.29
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:52:34 AM i hear what you're sayin liotta about the beats ...
i just need to feel more comfortable with my flow and cadence and i'll start expanding on the beats i use...
feel like i need to practice a lot before it sounds the way it does in my head on the actual track...
thx for the input
Partial IP: .45.210.12
coastEL
Total Posts: 2154 Member Since: 2011 Location: Wigger Slam Champ
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 6:47:22 PM im not liotta
Partial IP: .168.42.29
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 7:00:25 PM lol...thats the second time i did that...
my bad coast...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
coastEL
Total Posts: 2154 Member Since: 2011 Location: Wigger Slam Champ
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 7:21:28 PM lol at 'thats the second time i did that'
let me see something
coastel liotta
the only thing besides some similar letters is that we are both some of the illest, and share the distinction of bein gawdly legends.
but otherwise i just dont see it.
imboard
Partial IP: .168.42.29
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 7:37:42 PM i just see the red admin shit and thought it was him being negative...which is what i was hoping for not for resentment just to point out a flaw or something i could work on...
sometimes i just look at the response and dont look at who wrote it...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
coastEL
Total Posts: 2154 Member Since: 2011 Location: Wigger Slam Champ
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 9:34:28 PM better yet...
coastEL Mic Jordan
boo dug
lahl
Partial IP: .168.42.29
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 9:41:27 PM my neighbour is an audio engineer and producer so as soon as i buy a good mic for recording vocals ima get some tracks done...
i have a mixtape featuring a buddy of mine kwote1 from chicago on a couple tracks in the near future it'll be about 2 months or so until i'll have a few joints to leak on here...
i'll have a bunch of spots open for features so you guys and some other ughh heads can get on some tracks...
im buyin some beats from vherbal and panik for the mixtape and maybe a couple of others we'll see how it goes it should b done by the fall the latest...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 9:51:36 PM my dude kwote nasty son...
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 9:52:48 PM
Partial IP: .45.210.12
Lethal Weapon
Total Posts: 8021 Member Since: 2001 Location: 16 bars and counting
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:13:25 PM Just didn't feel authentic to me. You have a good delivery but I'm not buying what you're saying. Still have cadence issues and you also draw out syllables like I do.
Nothing special though. If you were you wouldn't be posting here right?
Partial IP: .111.83.91
coastEL
Total Posts: 2154 Member Since: 2011 Location: Wigger Slam Champ
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:14:52 PM that dood was cool dug.
Partial IP: .168.42.29
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:17:50 PM
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:21:16 PM all things i acknowledge lw and that beat brings me out of my comfort zone...im tryin to rap on beats that are more challenging so every track i do doesnt sound the same...
its a raw snippet that i redid about 5 times...its not even ready to b recorded yet still needs some fine tuning but i appreciate your honesty and feedback lethal...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:25:25 PM plus i think you're still emotional over that flack ethering...
time heals all wounds lethal...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
Lethal Weapon
Total Posts: 8021 Member Since: 2001 Location: 16 bars and counting
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:30:41 PM Are you trying to motivate me? The moment someone comes at me in audio then they open up inspiration. Plus flak needs to feel goo about something I mean he lives a pretty sheltered life..you seen his pics.
It makes me laugh though like everyone's hollering oh lethal he ethered you but the only people that got it right were coast and yoda. I'm proud that I hold a status like that though.
Partial IP: .111.83.91
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:33:52 PM take a joke bro...sheesh
or you pick a beat, any beat, and we can go bar for bar and see whats what if you like...
or you can step your writtens up and get on a track together...
the choice is yours im ready when you are...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:35:56 PM also before anyone said it was good or bad i said myself
i wanna re record this it doesnt sound good...
for the very reasons you had mentioned lethal...
Partial IP: .45.210.12
Lethal Weapon
Total Posts: 8021 Member Since: 2001 Location: 16 bars and counting
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:39:44 PM For a rough draft it's got potential. Once you work the kinks and finalize the track it will be tight pending on the direction you take it.
Partial IP: .111.83.91
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:15:17 PM new j love rasheed chappell n ragz..
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Pauly Styles
Total Posts: 10953 Member Since: 1999 Location: Triple O.G....got a worn out conscience..my blood won't even run..it WALKS through my veins..
posted Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:39:37 PM I would say not bad for a rough draft. I definitely think you can spit this better. I dislike the flow, if you held your breath when you spit I think you could smooth it out a lot or let it roll of your tongue. Pick where you take your breaths..it will help with your delivery. I see how you're doing it, not that it's not effective, but if you took out the breath before your pujos line you would have a very nice flow, it would almost sound like you "brought it back" if you know what I mean..
When you spit it next, try spitting from the back of your throat, record it. Than try spitting with your nose a lil, record it. Than try Beasting on the mic, record it, than sit for a lil and listen to all three and find what sound you think works best for you.
Even for a rough draft, there are some areas that could use refining.
But everyone has their own sound and own vision for their tracks..if this is it..hey..
Enjoy.
Partial IP: 251.143.58
gravasdoug
Total Posts: 813 Member Since: 2012 Location: rancho cucamonga
posted Friday, June 08, 2012 12:38:59 AM word to that pauly...this beat is a lil slower than what im used to..harder for me to catch the flow and cadence the way i want...
just gotta keep practicing, my breath control sux diyeck....
Partial IP: .45.210.12
Pauly Styles
Total Posts: 10953 Member Since: 1999 Location: Triple O.G....got a worn out conscience..my blood won't even run..it WALKS through my veins..
posted Friday, June 08, 2012 12:53:27 AM It's there..I see where you're goin with it..but remember the slower the beat..
the easier it is to flow complex syllables over it...
posted Wednesday, June 06, 2012 4:40:04 PM 
